WE ARE GREAT

its that emothional ,its that feeling u cant even imagine without LIVE experiancing that mwa7ada ENERGY FLOW comming throw sha3b masr starting throw your toes to your raging burning brain, when u feel liberated when u feel that kind of freedom , freedom we missed for a long time ,
now i really can say that "انا بحب مصر" and the better part that feeling of "انا بحب شعب مصر"i cant write a world without noticing my tears, i realized that we are GREAAAAAAT ,i had that happiness i havent felt for a long long time , may be i never experienced that kind of happiness ever , that happiness where eltkshera doesn't leave my face and i cant count thoughts in my mind , i really cant go along that enormous flow of emotions by writing so im random,
i feel sympathy for negative people i had seen today ,and i only tear when i get that photo in my mind ( -ve VS +ve people as i realize that -ve people are really close to me,)


SHA3B MASR im impressed ,, when i saw the ragest power in the smallest little girl i'm impressed ,when i saw the wa3y "sakafi w deni w watani " in the simplest people im impressed ,when i saw that "nazra mow7ada" nazreet 3azima , nazret sah3b egabiiiiii im impressed , all who had missed today im sorry for you but you still have that OPPORTUNITY , we all are going to sacrifice all what we have to get 7ORIAA..

TRee2 EL5tr "edya f gyobi w albi yndrp"

Narcissism i cant get over it yet i said im gonna be talking about people in my life but here i am for the last time ,

i remeber when i used to be the STAR it was unbelievable ----are you talking shit i dont know you! mt-hreesh 3la den abona :) __ im talking about that great feeling when everybody can identify you without being able to touch you they only watch and dream ! when you standout the world , when you are the STAR--

you was A star im a star too you may recognize my p*n*s-
-tol 3mrk aleel el2db i have been always on fire , my early days my starness was that i was shatoor in the school w b5ls el2weel f hset elemla2 :)

i was the first who argued with teacher ,then the first who refused to be hit  by the teacher (in our scoop), then for a long time i was the star in kicking guys asses i was the strongest in my age i used to defeat guys 2 years older than me in rest.. after that my starness was my 5na2at w sha2awa , i was very adventurous actually i miss that , after that being a rebel and getting my ass in many problems , then kest elen7raf , then being shee5 then my flame etafa , then i came back with a fake one when nobody in my age saw wala benj wala maganess before wana bahrt el3alm kolo bel benj wl mganess :)--
-haha tezak ent welmganes bt3tk -
--beside my starness is sport which was really beautiful and i suffered with it much , early in my life my tennis couch  used to call me  "falta :)"  he would say to all the team who's much older than me in training take a step back and watch omar , it was my talent <3>, then a handball goal keeper its great

im not organized but i remember when i was intentionally funny f dars Mrs magda cause there was that girl i loved to see her smile ,

i really dont know where my sense of humor has gone, damn it i was funny!! (:,

fi dars ahmed youssef i was always running the show he was a rude person who disrespected every one but me and some other girls , 
i remember that shiny eyes looking at me admiring my boldness,

i liked being creator where everyone uses your creation without even knowing . once i was really good at math w zaki fsh5 f3ln mesh 3rf elmwdoo3 d ra7 feen :),

i really love that moments when you really feel that you are in love with your self ,your the best one in the world nothing na2saak rather than that is really dangerous

i dreamed of a machine i held it with my both hands then FLY....... , i cant describe that feeling im about to cry (: ,

---great but most of what u said is a fake kind of starness --
-i know im just making use of it, im getting back on track..  on the right track im going to be a star,, to be a STAR , everyone was born to be some kind of a star , i like that song "anything but ordinary " but its the last choice, if u cant,, die !!

ahh starness is not a word :)

OH

kshkooli

space ask about anything ,is it the rules, is it the language, is it the world or its just something we don't know or we even don't think about?

every day it supposes to be easier it becomes more complicated,,

may be its simpler than we ever expected.. who knows! when its powerfully there but why its not that simple to see.. to actually see to believe to love .., why whoever we are we cannot avoid human nature , why at some moments of ur life you cannot notice anything in the world but your breath and all what you are thinking about is "is that normal"..

why at some points we have alot of whys,and other times we have not any ..

why it looks like en ana bahrtl :)

stability, is it good or bad thing,, i just don't like.

im not talking about risk but do we accept the granted or only what we want or 0 ?

there something about tense i really love i hope to be always using it

one last wish: i hope to understand what i wrote tomorrow even not understanding will be better will be great 2 days ago :)

(note for myself: do not write then write)

i will lease writing about myself for a wyl, and start righting about people in my life .

virtual reality

Great percent of Egyptians smokes hash , they are more than you know and its every where
when we was young we had an idea that drugs are very dangerous and bad and few people are addicted to it( movies and surrounding environment) at first movies represented the end of each drug addict as a died man or as a prisoner ,
when we grew older movies started to represent hash and pango as a normal thing youth does (3abood 3l hodood , ellemby)in really its not one of the upper cases , in reality more than half of the people you see smoked or smoking hash or pango or mosakenat or persham and guess what you see them alive and in good health !,i decided to try it when i saw a policeman and close person to me smoking hash ( something i never expected)you can call a hash smoker an addict if you call a sigaret smoker an addict,s
o why hash? its nice it some times gives you a good feeling it makes you laugh then laugh again ,easy to get anyone can make a deal in drugs with out being a merchant and its very profitable and easy so there is many dealers , every class in our society can afford smoking hash , even if u have no money or friends you can get some by being a midpoint for the dealer and smoker , if you didn't smoke it mesh beygelak elharsha u can smoke anything else or u can stop , you see much older men smoking hash and in good health,

THE most beautifull thing about hash , drugs in general and alcohol that it gives you the energy ,the push ,the power to do anything comes to your mind and most importantly the SOCIAL EXCUSE ,you can rape a man and later say i was waisted sorry and your friends will say he was waisted m3lsh ,a friend of me was about to fuck a gay german while he was waisted althought in reallity he is straight awe ,
hash makes you have a better time with your friends without resources  its great with girls before making out or sex ,even if you do nothing .
its a virtual world with real consequences that is sometimes a good thing but you can not always be in a virtual world its a great time waist ,
the negative about el hash you feel like it eats ur brain cells ,im not a doctor but the ability of focusing and the memory is affected,
when u are really waisted from hash u can focus only on one thing for instance your all of  your mind can be thinking and focusing in walking in a straight line (at the first time i realized that a great ne3ma from allah is the perception u can focus on many things) so gives u pleasure by talking from u not giving you, it makes you a real fool but smokers say who cares if i'm happy fuck the world (bel3arabe kos om enas )
i have a complete control on myself in smoking hash , i can stay for many months without smoking hash even years if i want
the great danger about hash that it takes people minds from productivity so mainly its a dangerous to any society( but not the egyptian one :) because that dangeor exists already


OH

55

im just writing , so i will only record , some people have been easly hypnotized i hope they gonna walkup early . im kind of getting out of my life ,i like that cause i was borred ,
also perfection can be borring im only waiting for onething , great , im sleeping 3ala nafse w ba5araf , kiss w goodnight

aint that enought?!

before i let u do without even asking, u have taken the risk, but this time it may cost you much, what for ?? .
u r such a selfesh even with yourself, u can do manythings else but now you are blinded...., i do not know whats wronge with you why sometimes you just disable logic, thinking .
its so close ,its badly risky, before it was calculated this time no , u know i.m right , i know that even that u are sure that im right u will do ,i cant help u any more, you will learn the hard way this time may be harder than you think, i wish that something from heaven will stop you before

i hope you wiiill understand my talk
(rbena yehdeke)


OH

elbt3 g fbo2o

10 years ago it was a start, an opening, a first try for a boy who wanted to try everything , that day i was walking with 2 friends , one seen a "sigarra" on the  ground  , he picked it up , he staired at it ,we all known that he wanted to try it, we actually did not mind if he tried it but he said that he will not try it without us , i accepted mai thought for a minute then she accepted , we got matchs and some baskoot and lightned it up aly took the first nafas silently he gave it to me , i took my nafas , its tast disgusted me it was so bad i took another nafas then i decided to stop and eat elbaskoot , mai did the same but with a little feminin touch ,if anyone known i have done that specially that age he would even kill me if he can or say that i'm very bayez w hadee3 after 3 month , for few days i didn't stop thinking why older people smokes ? i know know that it is not the taste or the pleasure , so why?? is it something i cant understand now?! ,so i left the question opened , some day i will know ,
nice t, after i tried el sagayer i was was sitting with my dad at a cafe he was smoking shesha i asked him why are you smoking it it have a bad taste, it seemed as child slip , he asked me if i tried el sagayer ??  i said yes he smiled while he was listening  , then he gave me shesha and he said try it if u want, i said no .
that was the good side of what i have done , the other good side that from that day i'm addicted to "trying", as usual most of what seduces anyone to try is bad , but there was some rules like ,any thing i try today well not affect me tomorrow , not being a slave to anything... so i decided to try everything comes to my mind but under my rules , so i tried some stuff.. , (law mamy areet elbeta3 d hat3mele 3eed melad)


f2ola sanawy most of my friends started smoking, i asked everyone, why? i never got an answer all was 3ade,yomeen wehbal , 3ashan bab2a ma5noo2 , ay klaam but something have a meaning , in my school it started by someone wanted to be unique to his age followed by other wanted to be unique like the first, eventually all the school became unique, i tied to get people i love from this "uniqueness" i tried everything talking , eldarb , and many other ways ,i got nothing some of them was just hiding there sigaret when they see me, as if they can change any thing in the world except that ,they cant even think about changing it ,

i just didn't want to see them like my father who is a typical slave to siggarets every month he tries to quit but he always fails he had a galta in his heart and had a heart sergery , docters said the  first and most important thing to do is to quit segarets , he quited for a month then he retarned back , he is litterly killing him self, i know few persons who succeded in quiting it , but the question i s why???? from the first place does elsegara deseve all that . everystarted it few years ago said that " segara kool feen w feen w 2a2dar abtaal f 2y wa2t" now they cant , what will they do after 5 years , 10 years , 30 years, everyday they have a better chance to quit than the next day , my father wishes to retairn  to there age to quit cause it will be a 1000 time easyer,

people who smoke sigarets at first they say just like me its under control,few month may be few years they don't control it any more, it controls them , they become slaves to a little nothing , we must not let any probability to be a slave to anything ,
people i know are like that long time ago,
(rabena y3enkoo wetbtloo)
new people i lately knew , ye7yo7a started smoking lately , and cause i know that he is smart and mature , i woundered ??,
and cause i care about him i decided that he will not continue, so i tryed talking, 3afya, till once howa tal3 segara and started smoking it, i tried to stop him but he 2fsh, i dicided to, whenever he smokes i will smoke with him and if he cares for me like i do for him, he may stop. so i took the segaret from him and smoked it , i seen in his eyes that( dont care) look , so i knew that i cant change his (whatever), but ye7ya zaki and he will grow up quickly.

when i first seen nirvana smokes i was shocked, i seen girls doing much worse than that but i never been shocked, cause with few people i expect the good first, at first i didn't observe nirvana , but lately i noticed that she is something..
for people i love if you cant get out of your slaveness, dont make me see you in that pathetic situation, please ..
OH